Monday, July 28, 2008

Carry groceries: the tetris challenge

Depending on the type of scooter, you may or may not have ample storage capacity. For example, a Honda ruckus (see image below) has no storage, so you're basically SOL.*
But on my scooter, I have maximum storage ability, including: an underseat helmet compartment, a front bag hook, and an additional Givi trunk compartment. Believe it or not, I can carry a week's worth of groceries on my scooter.

[Groceries in cart]

[Same groceries in scooter compartments. Magic!]

All it takes is some forward thinking and a little practice from playing tetris. Obviously, big items such as bulk rolls of paper towels from Costco will not fit, but perishable and fragile items such as fruit, glass jars, and even eggs will fit nicely if you plan ahead.

Space can be further supplemented with a backpack or messenger bag. Wow, what a knowledgeable and helpful post! This deserves a:

[*SOL = sh*t outta luck]

Scootering for two

Although scootering historically has been a solo adventure, there are occasions that call for more than one person riding on a scooter. Here's a short list:

Occasions that call for more than one person riding the same scooter:
  1. Existing girlfriend/boyfriend needing a ride home (note: only do this for existing relationships, because really, you're not going to impress anyone you're trying to date by picking them up on a scooter).
  2. Lame roommate bumming a ride (this is why I've made a "only 1 masian* per scooter" rule).
  3. You're handcuffed to someone as you both try to escape police on a thrilling chase through a European city. You attempt to steer through narrow streets, your partner in crime fire bullets randomly behind you.
Notice that I did not put "joy riding" on the list of scootering for two. That's because it's not fun riding an elaborate lawnmower with two people. It's not a motorcycle. There's little room, and scooters are not really designed to sustain the weight of two individuals. There's a couple of things to consider as you ride with two people. Here's another list:
  1. The art of getting on a scooter with two people. It's no easy task. My girlfriend and I have carefully practiced this dance, to spectators it's almost like a well choreographed ballet; I steadily hold the scooter upright via the handlebars, she climbs on and scoots back to the end, I then unsteadily throw my leg over the front without kicking her in the head, and finally rest hunched over the front with my knees poking the back of the handlebars. It's just as difficult dismounting from the scooter, I have to hold the scooter upright as she does a dangerous cartwheel off to one side, and then making sure not to drop the scooter, step off and pull down the kickstand. Email me for drawings and detailed instructions.
  2. Helmet selection. In my naive excitement, I first purchased a matching helmet for my girlfriend to wear. It's bring pink and is just as obnoxious and loud as my yellow helmet. However, I failed to recognized that we are not riding a motorcycle, and honestly we looked like a bunch of power ranger fanboys riding into battle to defeat Zorgon on a little underpowered scooter. Here's a 10 second cut and paste image rendition of what it looks like for your amusement. In addition to the negative visual aspects of having two matching full size motorcycle helmets, logistical problems also arise. Since we are sitting so close to each other, we discovered that we often bump into each others' helmets and made it a nuisance to turn your head, which as it turns out, is vital when you're riding a scooter in heavy traffic. So in short, I ditched the pink power ranger helmet and purchased a sweet secondary half helmet, which is better suited for storage and usage, as it's small enough to fit inside my scooter truck, and does not easily bump into the back of my helmet as well.
  3. Apparel. Make sure your girlfriend (or boyfriend?) is not wearing a skirt, as that's not the best idea to wear while scootering. Or for that matter, on males, not the best idea to wear ever. (Unless it's Halloween, which in that case, it's highly recommended).
  4. There's also a handful of other tidbits of advice, such as readjusting your side mirrors and taking turns more slowly, but I can't seem to think of funny comments to add to those instructions, so that's it for now.

[*masian = male + asian]

Updates coming soon

Dear fanclub member(s) and avid reader(s):

Updates are coming soon, I promise! I have a few stories drafted, but due to various obligations and lack of creative juices lately I've been reluctant to post the new stories. You deserve my best writing: a classic combination of a short anecdote filled with wit, humor, compassion, and a sprinkle of education...not mindless rantings and bad grammar.

So for now, here's a sweet picture I took on my scooter to keep you enticed in my blog. Keep checking back for updates!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

What a scooter is/ What a scooter isn't - Ranting Alert!

  • A scooter is a very useful alternative to a car.
  • A scooter is not a motorcycle. Don't think you're as cool as those guys on Harleys.
  • A scooter is great for zipping in and out of horrendous Boston traffic.
  • A scooter is basically a bicycle with a lawn mower engine.
  • A scooter does not help you pick up chicks.
  • A scooter is very fuel efficient.
  • A scooter has no doors, windows, ceiling, or any protective covering from the elements. is your best friend.
  • A scooter barely weights over 200 lbs. Buy a big lock.