Thursday, June 26, 2008

Types of scooting personalities and their rides

These are stereotypes that have come from no scientific premise or cohesive rational whatsoever. Hey, it's my blog, I can do whatever I want.

  • Europeans - they primarily drive Vespas, wear A/X mesh clothes, have hot models in the back seat, and look too damn cool. Wait, they mainly exist in commercials (and in Europe, I guess).
  • Girly girls - they drive bright red/pink scooters (mostly Vespas, or those flowery patterned Honda metropolitans), have matching outfits, make you want to throw up. Maybe a small dog or two in their hand bags.
  • Hippies - they drive old school scooters, like retro-style Vespas or Lambrettas. Damn things breakdown all the time, and are a pain to fix and maintain. They still probably smoke too much pot. Get a job.
  • Motorcycle-wannabes - kids who can't afford Ninjas, so they go for the scooter. They go for more sporty scooters, so Yamahas or Suzukis. It's an upgrade from annoying those mini-razor bikes/ATVs though. They take off the governors and catalytic converters so it makes more noise, still don't realize chicks are not impressed.
  • Poor college kids - Apparently scooter are HUGE in the midwest (source: my friend Sam who went to college in the midwest, apparently everyone has them around big campuses out there). These are kids who are too lazy to bike, too lazy to find a car parking spot, and too lazy to wait for a bus. They primarily drive cheap pieces of junk, like those tiny Honda ruckuses, Chinese-made whatevers, Korean Kymcos, etc.
  • Guys like me - eh, you think you're cool by going off the beaten path. You have a big SUV and feel too self-conscious to drive that thing 1/2 mile to work. You recycle...sometimes. You probably have an iphone too. Douchebag.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

You spelled SUV wrong douchebag. Now give me your iPhone.

Seamus said...

You realize of course that you fit into every single category you just listed right.
-Europeans - You're Chinese, close enough.
-Girly girls - You have a matching bright yellow scooter and helmet.
-Hippies - kids from the hood throw eggs at you, and the BPD takes your stuff; both things that have happened to hippies.
-Motorcycle-wannabe - You took the Governor off your's and it can now go a magical 30mph.
-Poor college kids - After purchasing this along with already owning a car, T pass, two legs, and your need to have at least 2 burritos/day you were most definitely a poor college kid (with way to many modes of transportation)
-Guys like you – You said it, Douchebag.

Vapok / Pete said...

Wow... According to this list.. I'm a Douchebag! It's nice to be a Guy Like You Ray. -Pete